Pow!! Car door opens, and whoosh here come the questions back to back to back. If I took a shot for every question that was asked, my liver would be swimming in sea of damn alcohol. My 8 year old loves me to death, and her way of showing is by asking me an infinite number of questions. Our conversation went something like this:
Teriah: Do you know how big the worlds biggest spider is?
Me: (Hell no) No.
Teriah: It’s as wide as a basketball.
Me: (Who the hell is telling you this crap) Where did you learn that?
Teriah: In a book of facts. Has anyone been to the top of the worlds tallest waterfall?
Me: Probably people have been everywhere now.
Teriah: What if they haven’t? What if they only saw it on tv? What if they never actually went?
Me: Someone would have to be there to film it if they showed it on tv?
Teriah: Why did Eve bite the apple?
Me: What?
Teriah: If she hadn’t eaten the apple in the Garden of Eden we would have been able to live forever.
Me: What?
Teriah: I want to live forever?
Me: (No you don’t, I barely want to live through these questions) We all want to live forever, that’s why we eat our veggies, and exercise to stay healthy. (I know such a parent answer).
Teriah: What’s 12 times 144?
Me: Huh?
Teriah: What’s 12 times 144?
Me: (Time for misdirection) That reminds me how much homework do you have?
Teriah: A lot. Can you help me figure out the cycles of the moon?
Me: (Wipes brow trying to calculate 12 time 144 in my head while driving, then giving up) Ok.
Teriah: What are we going to eat?
Me: Food?
Teriah: What type of food?
Me: What do you feel like eating?
Teriah: I don’t know, I’m a kid.
Me: (Dang, me too) Ok.
Teriah: Where are we going?
Me: Home.
Teriah: Why are we going this way?
Me: Because their is traffic on the freeway.
Teriah: Why is there traffic?
Me: Because people can’t drive.
Teriah: Well how did they get their licenses?
Me: (Turns up radio) Hey isn’t this that Adelle song that you like?
Teriah: (Starts singing)
Me: (In my head preparing for when the song stops).