Hip Hop Dad

As we embark into the future, and our lives become relatively easier I have begun to wonder if technology has become more of a hindrance to the parenting process. While you’re pecking away at your BlackBerry  or Iphone, while juggling your Venti Soy Chai from Starbucks, and trying to update your Facebook status, while taking a picture, and playing words with friends, while taking breaks because you are simultaneously texting, and trying to tweet about your experiences some of the intimacy of parenting is lost. Instead of being 100% cognizant of our child, we are now too busy trying to share the “cute” moments with the outside world. I often find myself barking the words, “Smile” at my son and daughter, and critiquing their smiling abilities, while trying to capture the best picture possible so that I can Instagram it. What has life come to? We are now trying to stage spontaneous moments instead of capture them so that our little “mini-me(s)” will garner all of the oohs and ahhs of our social network followers. Do you ever witness and awesome moment with your child, and instead of reveling in the beauty of the moment shout out, “Ok, do that again, I want to take a picture of it, and post it on Facebook.” Has your child ever yelled out, mommy or daddy while you were scrolling through the bazillion duck face, pictures on Facebook trying to see what everyone else is up to, only to reply, “hold on!!” Like you really care that your friend and her third baby daddy, are now fighting again, and she is about to head out to the club in her “freak him girl dress,” because he cheated on her again. We are so glued into this fake world of social media that our real world is deteriorating. People now sit their kids in front of tv, not so they can accomplish housework or meaningful tasks, but so they can type away at their mobile devices, update their status, read about “friends” who really aren’t friends, then talk about them to their real friends, while calling people who they never call anymore friends, because they both belong to a website, but don’t talk anymore. Confusing? I’d say so.

What happened to board games, going to the park, playing with your child, arts and crafts, and teaching your child to read, write etc? Oh there’s an app for that. We are now teaching our children at an early age to disconnect from society, and to disengage from conversation. Ipads, LeapPads (my son has one), Iphones, Ipods, have all replaced the time that used to be filled with meaningful and conventional conversation. On my Facebook page recently, I suggested that I might get rid of my smart device, and begin using a traditional cell phone instead. The reactions to this suggestion were mixed, as some people congratulated me, and others suggested that I merely erase some of the apps from my phone. We have begun to become dependent on these devices that were built with the intention of bringing us closer together. The telephone was made so that you could hear the voice of someone who was far away, but now we text. Now we Facebook, and then refer to that as talking to someone. We say, “Yeah, I talked to him the other day on Facebook.” Talking has now become a loosely defined action that may in fact happen without any speech, or person to person contact. Dinners are now filled with tables full of people ignoring each other to “talk to” people who aren’t even there. Our new tasks becomes how do we utilize this technology without becoming zombies?

How do you incorporate Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and all of these other sites into our daily lives without ignoring the people that are in reality standing by us. What if this moment was meant to be share by just us, and now it’s plastered all over the internet? Where are the boundaries? Does EVERY moment have to be captured in order to enjoy it?  It’s almost as if it never happens unless you Facebook it. People are constantly saying, “If you went there, how come you didn’t post it on your Facebook page?’ or “If he really saw (insert name of celebrity) don’t you think he would have Facebooked it?” The more that we incorporate technology into our lives, the more we are actually disconnecting ourselves from our lives. As I sit here writing this blog, as my son plays a game on my Iphone, and my daughter does her homework on my laptop, and I pound away at my PC, I have begun to realize how disturbing this phenomenon has become……..what do you think?

I was recently talking to one of the parents that I know about the idea of reverse diversity. What is reverse diversity? This is a term that I have coined to explain the idea of having to find ways for a child who is of a specific color to be able to meet children of the same color. I will explain what sparked this idea, and you can tell me what you think. My daughter who is now 8 years old is enrolled in a Spanish immersion school. These schools are typically highly competitive, have extremely long waiting lists, and teach your child to speak, read, and write in Spanish starting in kindergarten. My third grader is already fluent in Spanish, and loves her school. Being progressive parents, we love her school too, and are happy that these types of programs exists. Here lies the dilemma. Being such a specialized school, my daughter is one of a handful of black students enrolled in this program, and while she has tons of friends of other races, she doesn’t get the opportunity to interact with other black children on a regular basis.

Being a minority parent, you want your child to have a firm grasp of who they are, and where they come from as well as being able to interact with children of other races. While I can teach my child about black history, our family history, and give her books to read, I have seen where a lack of interaction between black children and their peers can lead. While I was at San Diego State University which had a 2% black population at the time, I used to run into black women who advised that they despised black men, and I also ran into black men who refused to date black women. Being that my daughter is biracial, and that I too have dated outside of my race, I didn’t mind that these black men and women liked dating outside of their race, what shocked me was the stereotypes that they carried about the men and women within their own race. Upon conversating with them further, I learned that they were raised in areas where they did not interact with people of their same race on a regular basis, and thus judged the men and the women within their own race based on hearsay, or the experiences of others. Coming from Oakland, California, I was shocked to hear this coming from people of the same color. As my journey continued, I found that this was not solely something that afflicted the black community, but I met Asians that said they disliked Asians, and so on and so forth. While in college, I never really thought about it too much, but once I had a child, I began to see where these types of traits come from.

Wanting to give my daughter the best opportunities in life, I put her in the best schools that I can find. In these schools there are not many African-Americans, thus her friends end up being of other races. I in turn put her in sports programs within these same areas, and thus her interaction with other black children is limited. As young black parents become more affluent, and move into areas where the schools are better, the crime rates are low, etc. there constantly is this struggle of trying to “keep it real.” This can only be described as trying to raise your kid in a great environment without losing your “blackness.” I used to hear some people hinting at the fact that President Obama wasn’t “black enough” when he was running for president. What does that mean? Do I have to live in a bad neighborhood, listen to rap music, and brandish a weapon in order to preserve my “blackness,” or can our ideas of “blackness” evolve as the roles of black people in America evolve? Being born in Oakland, California there were tons of black people, so this was a non issue, but as you ventured further out of the cities and into rural America you begin to realize that this is an issue that some parents face on a daily basis. While I am lucky that my daughters school teaches black history, and tolerance, there are schools that either don’t touch the subject, or teach the bare minimum. So the question then becomes how do I raise black children that accept other races, love themselves, and know who they are if I do not live in a predominately black neighborhood, and continue to send them to schools where they are the minority? While I am addressing this as a black parent, there are many multi-racial couples having children. My daughter has friends that are Jewish and Puerto Rican, and Caucasion and Chinese. How do you as a parent raise your kid to embrace both sides of their heritage without feeling ashamed of one, or only clinging to the one that is “popular” at the time. For instance, if you look white, and your part Puerto Rican, it’s easy to only acknowledge your white side when you among your white peers, and then to claim your Puerto Rican side when you are in a group of minorities. How do we raise our children to be proud of their heritages no matter where they are?

Here’s what I have decided to do. I take my kids to play at various parks outside of where we live. These parks don’t have to be in a “bad neighborhood,” they just are in more diverse areas. I also enroll my kids in some sports programs where I know that there will be other black kids on the team. I don’t do this because I want them to just be around black children, I do this because I want them to be able to interact with children from other socio-economic demographics, and to be able to relate to other black children. I also want my children to be able to be as proud of who they are when they are in the majority as they should be when they are in the minority. This means that if there are children of other colors on this predominately black team, I encourage my kids to make them feel welcomed and to interact with them just as they normally would. Here lies the ultimate question. Am I doing this because I am encouraging diversity, or have I been affected by the syndrome that I cited above that makes me want my kids to be in a position where their “blackness” is not being questions? Have I been preconditioned to try and make sure that my kids are “black enough,” and tough enough in our society, or is my take on this situation truly genuine and original? These are all questions that I ask myself when raising my kids, trying to make sure that their point of views remain open, and not skewed because they weren’t afforded the opportunity to interact with other black children. Also, should diversity be something organic, or is it our job as parents to make sure that our children interact with children of all races?

What skills should parents teach their children before they “leave the nest”? Of course, qualities such as morality and honesty are of over-arching importance, but my question is directed more at the practical skills that are important in life. – Greg Banner, Bristol, RI
What a wonderful question! We tend to focus on skills children learn at school, but I think practical skills may be as important or even more important.

Greg Banner – a father of six and retired lieutenant colonel in the Army – added in his letter that his West Point graduating class (79) and their spouses had compiled, through interaction online, a list of practical skills parents should teach their children. It included such suggestions as: how to climb a tree; how to ride motorcycle (before someone else shows the kids); how to haggle with the toughest car salesman; how to handle firearms safely; how to fight fires at home; how to be a gentleman or lady; how to dress for success; how to use birth control; and much more.
It Would Be Great If By 18 Years Every Young Person Could Do The Following:

1. Domestic Skills Cook (don’t just open and pour) a traditional breakfast, lunch and dinner.
2. Wash and iron clothes without ruining them (plus removing spots).
3. Replace a button and baste a fallen hem.
4. Basic house cleaning, not mixing cleaning agents.

Physical Skills

1.  Throw and catch balls of all sizes without breaking your fingers. Swim half a mile, tread water for half an hour and float for an hour.
2. Ride a bike with confidence.

Handyman Skills

1.  Hang a picture straight without making extra holes in the wall.
2. Paint neatly, including cleaning up the mess.
3. Know which tools perform what functions and how to use them around the house.
4. Know what a fuse box looks like and how to reset it if a fuse blows in your house/apartment.

Outdoor Skills

1.  Hike with friends without getting lost, bitten, sunburned or covered with a rash.

Practical Skills

1.  Type well with both hands in the proper manner.
2. Set up your own computer system without help from anyone.
3. Drive a car, including one with manual transmission and maintain it properly.
4. Learn to parallel park.

Organizational Skills

1.  Create a budget. Note: It takes longer to earn money than to spend it.
2. Balance a checkbook manually, even if you bank online.
3. Maintain an address book and a personal appointment calendar.
4. Set up a filing system to keep all the paperwork in your life in one place.

Social Skills

1.  Start and carry on a conversation for 15 minutes with a person you don’t know.
2. Speak before a small group of friends for a few minutes.
3. Learn enough ballroom dancing so you can have fun at parties. (Trust me on this one!)

Artistic Skills

1.  Draw an illustration at least well enough to get your point across.
2. Have enough confidence to sing aloud, even when everyone else can hear you.

Human Skills

1.  Care for a dog, cat, or other animal, including when it’s sick.
2. Baby-sit for children ranging in age from 6 months to 6 years.
3. Aid elderly or handicapped people without looking superior.
4. Volunteer.

Orientation Skills

1.  Get around town on public transportation even if you usually walk or drive.
2. Read a map, including road maps.
3. Know what to do if you find yourself in a bad neighborhood.
4. Know which direction is north, south, east, and west (without a compass) whenever you’re outside.

Recreation Skills

1.  Play a team sport instead of watching.
2. Maintain a fitness regimen.
3. Learn a game (like bridge or chess) you can play with friends for life.

Survival Skills

1.  Know basic first aid and maintain a complete first aid kit.
2. Know what to do if you get sick, especially if you’re alone.
3. Know when to defend yourself, then know how to be effective.
4. Know CPR.
5. Know how to turn off the gas line of your house/apartment in case of emergency.

So, I remember when I was first expecting my daughter, and I was reading all of these books about parenting. They all were telling me what the baby looked like in the “tummy,” at such and such weeks, and what the woman was feeling like, and all of this crap that DID NOT prepare me for what was to come. After reading these books and going to the parenting classes, I knew how to swaddle (wrap the baby up like a mummy in a blanket), change a diaper, and burp the baby, which is cool, but it’s sort of like taking a test and someone only gives you half of the information. So here’s what I learned:

1. Yes, your child will poop/pee through the diaper. In the REAL parenting world we call it explosive poop. It comes out of the diaper and can either travel up the childs back (onto that pretty shirt or outfit you put them in), or it can travel out of one of the legs. What does this mean for you? This means that if the kid is sitting on your leg, and if your response time is slow, or if you are unaware that your kid is going, this poop can now leak through and stain your pants. Believe me, I’ve seen it happen first hand (always pack a change of clothes).

2. Your child is 1 or under 1 and it’s Christmas. I’m not saying don’t buy them anything, but it’s almost completely a waste of money. Your little “prince,” or “princess” won’t be playing with that crap until their almost two years old. I have 2 kids, I made the mistake once, and never made it again. We all get caught up in being SUPER PARENT, which is cool and all, but they are more excited by the boxes, wrapping paper, and stuff like that. I would buy a few inexpensive presents, wrap up a bunch of empty boxes, you could even fill them up with old toys (I know this sounds horrible) and let your kid have a go at opening the boxes up. Then again you could always ignore me, buy a bunch of gifts, and watch them sit around for a year or so until your kid actually realizes what they are.

3. There are NO timeouts. When you are taking a poop, your child when old enough will come and talk to you. My son tries to climb up on my lap and hold a conversation with me, or hug me, or one time he even brought two swords in the restroom and we had a sword fight while I was pooping. It happens. No you can’t close the door while you are pooping because you have to be able to hear what is going on outside of the restroom. One time I went to pee when my daughter was younger, I was gone for less than 3 minutes, and upon my arrival back in the living room, she had taken off her diaper, smeared herself with poop (yes all in her hair, and all over), grabbed the remote control, and smeared poop all over the couch cushion. Expect the unexpected. Just because you need to do something, the game of life doesn’t stop their are no timeouts, your kids will follow you around forever, and this is why we LOVE nap time!!!

4. Your kid will be as cool or as dull as you make him/her. My son gives people “fist pounds,” high-fives people, and sometimes says, “What’s up!” You can teach these kids anything you want. You can make this mini person as awesome or as drab as you want, I choose to make mine AWESOME!!! (LMAO)! My 3 year old is also can count to 20, sing the alphabet song, and has a huge vocabulary (for a 3 year old), because I talk to him like a regular person. Just because they are babies, doesn’t mean you have to use baby talk. If you say bottle, or blanket, instead of “baba,” or “binkie,” they will in turn say bottle and blanket. If you want their vocabulary to grow, talk to them like you would any other person.

5. Don’t waste your money on stuff you don’t need. I did this with my first child. When my daughter was born, I bought all types of toys, and baby stuff that I thought I would need because it sounded logical, but I didn’t use hardly any of it, and she didn’t play with the toys until she was a year and a half almost. Remember, this is a poop, throw-up, and pee manufacturer. If you buy cream baby bedding, and strollers, expect it to get dirty quick. I recommend dark colored fabrics, and items that will stand the test of time. As your kid gets older he or she will also be eating in that stroller so he or she will also be spilling stuff all in that stroller.

6. This is just my personal preference. I wrestle with my son. I would much rather have an aggressive boy, then one that is scared, cries, or gets bullied. I have always wrestled with him, and thus he is pretty aggressive, and fearless. It’s easier for me to tell him to “chill out,” or to “calm down” then it would be for me to try to teach him to be aggressive later on in life. My daughter is not aggressive, so when she played soccer this year, she often did not go after the ball, and she typically isn’t going to ask someone if she can play with them if she doesn’t know them. Having experienced this, I raised my son to do the complete opposite. He says hello to everyone, and will immediately invite himself to play with other kids. This of course means that I have to watch him more, because he is so fearless of strangers, but for me it’s worth it.

7. Don’t over react when your kids fall. With both of my kids when they fell on the ground, I applauded. I said, “Yay, good job,” and I clapped. I didn’t run over and ask if they were ok, I didn’t act surprised, and I didn’t pick them up off of the ground. I clapped, and cheered them on, and they were fine. If you teach your kid that every time they fall it’s a big deal, they will act accordingly. My son has scraped his knee and been bleeding, and will continue to play. I of course will check it out, and bandage it up, but I don’t make a big deal over it. This way I know that when my kids cry, they are actually hurt, and not just reacting to a superficial wound. Sounds crazy, but it works.

8. Don’t go broke trying to be cute. If we are going to be 100% honest, there have been several times when I have bought my kids outfits from a store to take pictures in, and have taken the outfits back after the pictures were taken. That may sound a bit ghetto, or trifling, but my son doesn’t need an $85 dollar velvet sport coat. It looks cool in the pictures, but where else would he wear it to? There are also now places where you can sell your old clothes, and kids toys, or exchange them if you like, I am a huge fan of these places. I don’t get things that other kids may have put into their mouths, but I do find things like bikes, jogging strollers, and things of that nature in these places that have been gently used. I refuse to go broke trying to keep up with the Puff Daddy’s of the world. Kids require so little to keep them happy, we over complicate it.

9. Have fun. Quit trying to pretend like you are this unbreakable fortress, and go play with your kids. Get in the sand, explore, build sand castles, play with bugs, go fishing, and do exciting stuff. The more things you introduce them to the more they will grow. Remember that it’s all relative to age. I let my 3 year old hold caterpillars, and chase birds, and touch snakes at the pet store, and it totally blows his mind. It’s awesome to watch, and I encourage you to try it. It all depends on your comfort level, and the comfort level of your child. If you are scared of something, and don’t like it, don’t pass that on to your child. Let your child experience it, and decide for his or herself. For instance if you are afraid of snakes, don’t tell your child that snakes are yucky, or that they are gross, let them figure it out for themselves. This is a handicap that you have created for yourself don’t pass it on to your kids. Feed your kids all types of foods, and let them experience the world at an early age.

10. Take lots of pictures and print them out. You’d be surprised at how fast they grow, and how many moments can be captured. The problem is that now with smart phones we don’t print our pictures out. Spend the money to print these pictures out so that you can have them forever. If your computer crashes, or if your phone malfunctions, you don’t want to lose this little persons journey thus far!!

11. Encourage them to pretend. School teaches your child to be like everyone else, to fit the mold that society has set for us. The only reason why each of us is individually different is because of the training we get at home. Teach your kids to imagine, to create, to draw, to pretend, and they will grow to be so much more than the kids who are taught not to make messes, and not to do anything that normal kids do.

Until next time……take it easy,

Your pal,

Hip-hop Dad!!

Have you heard of the spilt milk story? Well, we all know there is no use crying over spilt milk. But this story is different. I would hope all parents would respond in this manner.

I recently heard a story about a famous research scientist who had made several very important medical breakthroughs. He was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who asked him why he thought he was able to be so much more creative than the average person. What set him so far apart from others?

He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an experience with his mother that occurred when he was about two years old. He had been trying to remove a bottle of milk from the refrigerator when he lost his grip on the slippery bottle and it fell, spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor—a veritable sea of milk!

When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, giving him a lecture, or punishing him, she said, “Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage has already been done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?”

Indeed, he did. After a few minutes, his mother said, “You know, Robert, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up and restore everything to its proper order. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a sponge, a towel, or a mop. Which do you prefer?” He chose the sponge and together they cleaned up the spilled milk.

His mother then said, “You know, what we have here is a failed experiment in how to effectively carry a big milk bottle with two tiny hands. Let’s go out in the back yard and fill the bottle with water and see if you can discover a way to carry it without dropping it.” The little boy learned that if he grasped the bottle at the top near the lip with both hands, he could carry it without dropping it. What a wonderful lesson!

This renowned scientist then remarked that it was at that moment that he knew he didn’t need to be afraid to make mistakes.Instead, he learned that mistakes were just opportunities for learning something new, which is, after all, what scientific experiments are all about. Even if the experiment “doesn’t work,” we usually learn something valuable from it.

Wouldn’t it be great if all parents would respond the way Robert’s mother responded to him?

Every memorable act in the history of the world is a triumph of enthusiasm. Nothing great was ever achieved without it because it gives any challenge or any occupation, no matter how frightening or difficult, a new meaning. Without enthusiasm you are doomed to a life of mediocrity but with it you can accomplish miracles.

-Og Mandino

Pow!! Car door opens, and whoosh here come the questions back to back to back. If I took a shot for every question that was asked, my liver would be swimming in sea of damn alcohol. My 8 year old loves me to death, and her way of showing is by asking me an infinite number of questions. Our conversation went something like this:

Teriah: Do you know how big the worlds biggest spider is?

Me: (Hell no) No.

Teriah: It’s as wide as a basketball.

Me: (Who the hell is telling you this crap) Where did you learn that?

Teriah: In a book of facts. Has anyone been to the top of the worlds tallest waterfall?

Me: Probably people have been everywhere now.

Teriah: What if they haven’t? What if they only saw it on tv? What if they never actually went?

Me: Someone would have to be there to film it if they showed it on tv?

Teriah: Why did Eve bite the apple?

Me: What?

Teriah: If she hadn’t eaten the apple in the Garden of Eden we would have been able to live forever.

Me: What?

Teriah: I want to live forever?

Me: (No you don’t, I barely want to live through these questions) We all want to live forever, that’s why we eat our veggies, and exercise to stay healthy. (I know such a parent answer).

Teriah: What’s 12 times 144?

Me: Huh?

Teriah: What’s 12 times 144?

Me: (Time for misdirection) That reminds me how much homework do you have?

Teriah: A lot. Can you help me figure out the cycles of the moon?

Me: (Wipes brow trying to calculate 12 time 144 in my head while driving, then giving up) Ok.

Teriah: What are we going to eat?

Me: Food?

Teriah: What type of food?

Me: What do you feel like eating?

Teriah: I don’t know, I’m a kid.

Me: (Dang, me too) Ok.

Teriah: Where are we going?

Me: Home.

Teriah: Why are we going this way?

Me: Because their is traffic on the freeway.

Teriah: Why is there traffic?

Me: Because people can’t drive.

Teriah: Well how did they get their licenses?

Me: (Turns up radio) Hey isn’t this that Adelle song that you like?

Teriah: (Starts singing)

Me: (In my head preparing for when the song stops).

So Kayden and I are in the middle of a park watching his sister and her friend try out for a track team when he announces that he needs to pee. Being that he is a boy, and that there is no toilet in sight this conversation ensues:

Kayden: Daddy I need to pee.

Me: Ok. (Looks around, no bathroom in sight)

Kayden: Daddy I need to pee on the ground now. (Begins unbuckling pants)

Me: (Noticing the huge crowd of parents and children around us) No, we need to go over here. (Points to a fence post in the distance)

Kayden: Ok. (We walk to the fence post)

Me: Here you go. (Pointing at the fence post)

Kayden: (Notices ants) I need to pee on the ants.

Me: What? No. (Points him in a different direction)

Kayden: (Begins peeing) No. (Turns and pees on ants)

Me: No.

Kayden: I’m peeing on the ants, they’re running daddy.

Me: Ok R.Kelly.

Kayden: “I not R. Kelly I’m am Kayden”

Me: Yes you am. (Lol)

I swear that every day I look forward to nap time. In fact I plan my day around it. You might even catch me on the phone talking to one of my friends like, “Yo, from 8-12 I’m book from like 12-2, you can come over and get whooped in some Playstation 3.” For me that 2 hour space of time is filled with endless possibilities. Sometimes I do stuff like buy a book, and measure how long it’s going to take me to finish the book in nap times. I’m like, “Dang, this book is 200 pages, I could probably knock this out in like 3-4 nap times if I want.” However, here is the problem with nap time, sometimes my son doesn’t want to go to sleep. He’s figured it out. It’s like he’s at the playground trading nap time tips with the other toddlers. I can picture them all congregated around the slide like, “Yo, this is how I get out of nap time every day, try this,” and he takes mental notes and puts them to use at home.

Here’s how it goes. I put him in the crib, and turn the channel from Yo Gabba Gabba to ESPN. 10 minutes later, he pops his head out of the door and says, “Give me a kiss daddy.” You’ve got to be a cold dude to be able to turn that down, so I pick him up, kiss him and put him back in the crib, and close the door. I’m sure he pulls out a pen and pad, and scratches that one off of the list like, “Damn, that didn’t work.” 10 minutes pass, and pow, he yells out, “Daddy, I have to go pee pee.” This is a tricky one. He could be lying, but you never know, so you have to get up and take him to the toilet to scope out the authenticity of the situation. So here we are in the bathroom, he’s smiling, sitting on the toilet, trying to unroll the ENTIRE roll of toilet paper, reaching for toys, asking me questions (sometimes the same question 12 times in a row hoping I break), and when he is finished I put him back in the crib. 30 minutes pass, “Oh my gosh there is a bug.” This is another statement, that you have to check out. What if there is a bug? You have to go look, and when you do there is no bug in sight. I feel like Wylie Coyote falling for the same roadrunner tricks every day. Buy now 50 minutes have passed, and you have to figure out how to get him to sleep in order to get your 2 hour break. So what do I do, I go lay in the room with him. I’m on his sisters bed, and he’s in the crib. Here is where the plan falls apart.

I have usually been up since 5:30 am, the time that I go to the gym in the morning, and within about 15 minutes, I am sleep. When I wake up, the crib is empty (my 3 year old climbs out of the crib faster than Kim Kardashian gets out of a relationship), and I usually find him in the room playing with toys and watching TV. He then smiles at me, knowing he should have been sleep and says something like, “Did you have a good nap daddy?” Feeling duped, I have now vowed to never lay in the bed in his room at all costs. If he yells something to me, I yell back. I keep the door cracked, so that I can see if he is in fact asleep. I do this because I used to close the door, and when I opened it thinking that he was sleep, he would pop up and become re-energized, thinking that his nap was now over. So now, POW!!! I refuse to be fooled. Here is some off parent humor from one of my favorite comedians Kevin Hart and another video about Nap Time: